Update
Update to all of my Friends and Fans who even read these things or remember who I am since it's been a wicked awful long time since Ive been on. But quick update! I found me a Hunk!! So needless to say hes been taking up most of my time and I actually just finished moving in with him, so everything is working out great thus far! I was able to break my old lease - somewhat - so after I did that, packed up all my site, moved it all in, changed my address a thousand times, get settled down in, it's then he tells me that the place IS FUCKIN` HAUNTED!! LOL Shits been moving around by itself all over the place!! I woke up Monday morning and the little side table thingy was ON TOP of the couch and neither of us got up during the night! Then last night I get a text from Danny: - Walking to the Psychic now! The wine rack is shifted at an angle and the table is moved on top of the couch again! I put it back after you left this am! I felt and heard it when I was doing the dishes in the kitchen!! - Soo anyway.. we'll be doing duo shows hopefully soon. Hes Danny Wilcox in the bios! Check him out! Oh and the Psychic was closed! FML!
What Grinds My Gears 3-7-12
You know what grinds my gear? Everytime I need something shipped to me, its such a fuckin' hassle!! I have a mail box, a lock box and a front office to leave the fuckin` package at. But what does the dumb-ass do?? Comes and knocks on my door in the middle of the fuckin` afternoon when I'm obviously not home cuz Im one of the few in the working class, and leaves me a note to go and pick it up at the Post Office! What the fuck did someone just pay shippin` n handlin` for?? Huh? To go out of my and drive to the FedEx Office myself and pick it up?? Fuck no! I want that shit delivered straight to my address, or left at the front office! Cuz thats what its there for ya jerk off!! And not to mention, the fuckin` package is all the way across town on 47th street!!! While theres a fuckin` FedEx Office a mile up the fuckin` road from me!! And they tell me they cant send it back out till Monday cuz the sella` didnt pay for Saturday delivery!!! What the fuck is the difference between Monday, or Wednesday, or your Muthas Day??? Jesus fuckin` christ whats wrong with these fuckin` ppl!! So my new sex toy from my wish list is now been sitting at the front office for 3 days cuz no one wants to slip it into my apt…
Everything that happens to me is funny!!
So me and my newest Fuck Buddy were getting into a REALLY hott session when I decided I needed, yet, another hit of poppers. So I took a REALLY huge sniff and I was feeling all loopy and loosey goosey. Then I guess I was concentrating more on getting my ass pummeled and what was going on at the time, than putting the popper cap back on tight enough. So then I just tossed the bottle to the side and continued on with the session. Well the poppers started leaking out of the bottle and made a huge stain on my Fuck Buddy’s bed! The entire room fumigated and got all fish bowled with the great stench of jungle juice!! I was loving it, but not so much my Fuck Buddy…! So I tried to clean up the wet stain, but the smell wouldn’t go away. I opened the window and kept the door open all night, but that didn’t work so much… He made me sleep on that side of the bed, and I put a towel and a pillow over, and it still smelled! So all night I was all loopy and feeling REALLY REALLY good. My Fuck Buddy kept waking up complaining that his head was spinning, and his dog was running around in circles on the edge of the bed. But oh well, those sheets needed to be cleaned anyway…
A Happy Christmas Poem
'Twas the night before Christmas,
When all through the land,
Nothing was moving,
Except my hand on my gland.
My nuts were a hanging, and I was stroking with care,
And my blow up sex slaves were all out of air.
So I beat it and beat it and came really quick,
"Go to sleep now," I said to my dick.
It stood at attention, and would not lie down,
Obviously, without doubt, the most rigid around.
I sat down on the couch, there arose such a clatter,
I looked up real quick, to see what's the matter.
I threw on my boxers and wiped off my hand,
I looked out the window, and so did my gland.
With the moon in the sky, and a bitter cold chill,
My penis peeked out, and laid on the sill.
When, what to my three eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and nine tiny reindeer.
With a well hung driver, so long, and so thick,
He knew in an instant it must be St. Dick.
Quicker than I did, this well hung man came,
He shot off his load and called out my name!
He said "Bryton, I like how you quiver and quirk,
But off I must go, as I still have to work."
And laying a finger aside of his nose,
Smelling my ass, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh with a clink and a clang,
"Let's go now, I've got more butts to bang!"
But I heard him proclaim as he drove out of sight,
"I'll be back next year, and
I'll fuck you all night!"
A Happy Christmas Story
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was visting, which stressed Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of glass pieces all over the floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
Busy as B
Welll… I was hoping things would start to calm down for me a bit so I can be able to work a little more, but they havnt…! Right now I am taking Forensic Psychology and it’s kickin my fahken ass!! I have no clue what the hell is going on!! Not to mention that I have to double everything up and still work on my thesis report. So it’s slim pickins on the times I can log in… Plus the social life is continually picking up! Which doesn’t help… lol I remember 2 years ago when I moved to SoCal, I had very few friends and the people I met were huge mega Douches! Thanks god I moved from Del Mar!! I had a lot of nights alone and that’s when I started working on the site to entertain myself (and you! ) Not that Im complaining, Im having a great time in SD and meeting a ton of great people, but damn! Be careful what you wish for! LOL I have no self control on having a social life since Im a huge attention whore, if you havnt noticed so going out to the bars sounds like a lot more fun then trying to figure out the fahk Forensic Psychology is!! But hopefully soon, I’ll be back to my broadcasting schedule!! Hugs n Bangs! - B
What Grinds My Gears!
You know what grinds my gears? Everytime I need something shipped to me, its such a fuckin' hassle!! I have a mail box, a lock box and a front office to leave the fuckin` package at. But what does the dumb-ass do?? Comes and knocks on my door in the middle of the fuckin` afternoon when I'm obviously not home, and leave me a note to go and pick it up at the Office! What the fuck did I just pay shippin` n handlin` for?? Huh? To go out of my and drive to the FedEx Office myself and pick it up?? Fuck no! I want that shit delivered staight to my address, or left at the front office! Cuz thats what its there for ya jerk off!! And not to mention, the fuckin` package is all the way across town on 47th street!!! While theres a fuckin` FedEx Office a mile up the fuckin` road from me!! And they tell me they cant send it back out till Monday cuz the sella` didnt pay for Saturday delivery!!! What the fuck is the difference between Monday, or Wednesday, or your Muthas Day??? Jesus fuckin` christ whats wrong with these fuckin` ppl!!
What Grinds My Gears!
Everytime I need something shipped to me, its such a fuckin' hassle!! I have a mail box, a lock box and a front office to leave the fuckin` package at. But what does the dumb-ass do?? Comes and knocks on my door in the middle of the fuckin` afternoon when I'm obviously not home, and leaves me a note to go and pick it up at the Office! What the fuck did I just pay shippin` n handlin` for?? Huh? To go out of my and drive to the FedEx Office myself and pick it up?? Fuck no! I want that shit delivered staight to my address! Cuz thats what is supposed to happen ya jerk off!! And not to mention, the fuckin` package is all the way across town on 47th street!!! While theres a fuckin` FedEx Office a mile up the fuckin` road from me!! And they tell me they cant send it back out till Monday cuz the sella` didnt pay for Saturday delivery!!! What the fuck is the difference between Monday, or Wednesday, or your Muthas Day??? Jesus fuckin` christ whats wrong with these fuckin` ppl!!
Dang Blackouts!
So some dumb-ass knocked out all the power in most of SoCal and all the way to southern Arizona… So I was without power all night last night and wasn’t able to log in to work, which I really need to start doing more… So I went and stayed on my friends Yaht in the Bay where we had lights and power and running water and TV and movies and cold beer and tons of food that they had to cook cuz it would have all gone bad. It feels good that Ive made some pretty cool friends out here that are willing to help me out when shit like that happens. Im not sure what I would have done at my apt by myself with no lights or anything. Probably would have just jerked off all night and fall asleep at some point… So it was a good night. I hope to be on a lot this weekend if some idiot doesn’t do black me out again! It sucks cuz I was having a pretty good week, then this happens! But nothing I can do. Hope to see a lot of you this weekend now that everyones back from vacay!!! Hugs n Bangs! -B
Back to Life
As many of you know, I just got back from a weekend vaca in LA and Vegas. This trip was exactly what the doctor ordered!! This past four months have been really long and Ive had a lot going on. I feel like I’ve survived a war! Work, school, court cases, ex landlords, thesis project, my best friends mom having a stroke, etc.. BS BS and more BS!!! But now everything is alright and has worked itself out. It was tough to concentrate on working on the site with so much going on, but most of it over, done with gone. I won both court cases, (now the fun of collecting the money can begin!! YAY!!) thesis project is moving along, friends mom has recovered, and I feel totally relaxed and unwound, and hope to get back in to the swing of things as they were before. Ive been having a lot of people come into my room that I haven’t seen in a while and it makes me feel good that I haven’t been forgotten! Its good to see a familiar screen name. So I was in LA for a Company Picnic and saw a lot of models Ive met before and met a lot I haven’t. Lots of really cool down to earth people!! We all had blast, so now its time to back to bisiness and start shakin` my Macacka again!!
Old people
So while I was in Boston, I was hanging with my buddy who has a tattoo sleeve going down on his arm, and we were wearing tank tops cuz it was hott as hell outside so you can clearly see his tats. We were walking around outside doing a little bar hopping and some random old man comes up next to us while we were waiting for the walk sign and he starts staring my friend down cause of the tatts. So, my buddy smiles & says hello. We all talk random talk for about 4 or 5 mins, then he abruptly says "You know, I always thought only druggies & assholes had tattoos. But you're not so bad. Actually, you're a rather nice young man. You know those don't look good on you right?" LOL I busted out laughing so friggen hard!! His wife comes over, & concurs all of this, saying "you were handsome before you got those, I can tell"!! LOL I love Boston and I miss it sometimes. It still amazes me the difference is people on both coasts. Everyone is so open and up front about everything back east, and these two old people bustin` on my buddy totally made my day!
Back in SD
Can I just say how fuckin` glad I am to be back home?? I was in Boston last weekend and it was so hawt I thought I died and went straight to Hell!! Its so stressful going back east. I felt like I was being pulled in every which way possible. So it gets stressful sometimes when my phones blowing up and people want to meet up, and I cant… But seeing friends and family is always a good time. I got to see some of my best buds who I havnt seen in like three years or so. But you always run across the assholes from high school that are still stuck in the trash bucket of a town we grew up in and are jealous that I got out! Haha sucks to be them right?!! I had a family pool party at my aunts which is always a huge drunk fest and a kick ass time!! I got clued in on all the family drama going on that I didn’t even know was happening! Break ups, fights, name calling, shit talking`, you name it! I love hearing about drama, as long as Im not involved… But its always great to come back home to San Diego. So all in all, my trip was good, except I didn’t jack off for days so Ive been making up for lost time!!
Dear Journal aka Bored at work...
So two dudes, gay couple, walk by you, checking ya out, eye fahkin ya, making comments to one another Question: Isn't that kind of a violation of relationship loyalties and devotion, despite them sharing the conversation together?. I've always been curious as to the ethics rationale behind that. I get checked by gay men all the time, doesn't bother me in the slightest. I'm beyond accepting of every walk of life. I just question if that behavior is actually good relationship conduct? Cause in most cases, when straight couples behave that way, it would cause a problem, in many, but not all instances. Where as sometimes, with some but not all gay couples, I notice it seems to sometimes be more open forum free for all in checking out together. Which is cool, I don't care. I was just more curious, if people found that to be a conflict attribute to the relationships focus though? They find the same thing attractive. So they are able to discuss and share in far greater levels, what they find attractive that way, because its a mutual thing they share. Theres even less room now for worry or insecurity when they are on the same page. Like all couples, you can window shop admiringly with trust, and its no slap to the relationship. Its just about communication. Respecting what the other is comfortable with and voicing it. So, they are comfortable with their relationship obviously to gawk at you like that!
I Miss Boston Sometimes!
Friend's Report from Bruins Celebration - Some kehds walking with his buddies, and needs to take a piss. He's crossed eyed stumble drunk. Mid crowd, he ducks between two cars & starts pissing on the cars tire. The kehd was too blitzed to pay attention that the car he was pissing on, was a cop car. As he was pissing, he was also spitting multiple nasty-ass loogies on the hood, when one of the 18 cops watching him walks up to him. Kehd looks up after finally noticing the guys presence and he says "What the fahks your problem? Ya, I said it" and continues to piss. Cops were NOT fucking around last night, many of them carrying around 3 foot bamboo odd looking sticks. This officer was still just pretty much calm, & said "waiting for you to put your dick away so I can arrest you." Kehd looks over at his buddies smiling, then he looks at the cop, looks at the car, looks at the cop, & then looks at the car. His face drops, finally realizing now what he had just done.. Mid post piss shake, he responds "Sure thing. Sounds good", & puts his hands behind his back & lays on the hood of the car he had been spitting all over. Forgetting he had even done so & pretty much now drying up all his spit with his Bruins sweatshirt. I love Boston Sports Fans!!
Driving Home...
So as Im driving home today, I'm sitting in traffic at this intersection at 530pm prime time, when I approached the intersection, 3 guys with downes syndrome are standing next to the crosswalk, hitting the pedestrian walk light to cross. They hit it over and over and over etc..., & everytime it works for them, they don't cross...!! LOL & look at all the cars & people now waiting on them to cross, & point & laugh. Haha. It really was kind of funny as hell. They never crossed, & just kept hitting the button over & over, laughing hysterically I'm near tears as they cackled with glee. Made me smile & I really thought this was funny as shit. Just like little kids (or old senile men) they were just stirring shit up, & making rush hour even heavier. Ya had to laugh, actually I was laughing my ass off cuz it was pissing off all the Queens as I watched about 15 other CAHKFACE dickhead San Diegans yell at them & curse. But, the boys paid no mind, & just waved at them! Haha. THAT actually made my day! Haha ;) It wasnt the bagels for breakfast, or the corporate catered lunch, or the invite to Mexico tomorrow. It was that.. I love a good middle finger given to the world! I wondered why the traffic was backed up all the way on the highway...
Rapture
The day of reckoning is among us. Consuming sinners and saints alike. Who shall be lifted up to rapture when the judgment trumpet blows? None but the faithful brothers and sisters... None but the faithful. And I looked, and he opened the sixth seal, and behold, there was a great earthquake. And the sun became as black as sack cloth, and the moon became as blood. And the seas boiled and the skies fell. Judgment Day! Every ancient religion has its own myth about the end of the world. The dayeth of Judgment Day has Cometh upon Us! We are headed for a disaster of biblical proportions. Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming downeth from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes! The Dead risingeth from the graveth! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
People
Dear Journal,
Im loving all this free time on my hands lately!! Ive been catching up on a lot of sleep and been able to spend more time online lately. There seems to be a big influx of new hotties on the site lately that I spend more time pervin` in other chat rooms than I do paying attention to my own! LOL Gotta work on that…he he In due time! ;) Always fun to meet new people. This weekend I went out with 2 of my Daddys and we went to this bar and met up with some of their friends. Was a good crowd few of the fellas were alright. One was a huge egotistical narcissist! Cant stand people like that… We all ended up going back to one of their buddys place. Really sick place too!! We were just hanging out boozin` n bullshitting and people kept going and coming out of the “Powder Room” (I guess they call it these days…) Didn’t know the bi/gay scene was so into the drugs! Def not my deal so I just ended up talking with this raging dyke on a bike and listening to the narcissistic dude blab all about himself interrupting everyones conversation. He needs a kick in the Junkyard…!
No More Deer
So after everything was said and done with the sexy ass cops and even though they assured me that the Dept. of Trans was going to take care of this damn dead deer, yesterday morning, my Fuck Friend texts me on his way to work. The text reads: "You're gonna shit a brick, the deer is still there."
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! But this morning on my way to work I took the long way and drove by the spot where the deer carcass was and, to my surprise and relief, there was no rotting carcass. But somehow I feel like next time I’m on my bay and beach run, when I go by there I'm going to see it. But I think it was FINALLY taken care of....So anyway that was the excitement of my week last week. Don’t be too jealous! Not sure what’s going to happen this week but Im sure something crazy will come up. It always does, never ceases to fail. Right now Im just sitting at my boring ass day job bored out of my mind wishing I was home playing with myself. Which is one of my favorite activities to do when I get bored. But I cant do it here. I don’t think the boss man will appreciate it too much. But I think that’s why they invented the handicapped stall…
Cops cont.
So we get out of the cop car, we begin walking up the walkway, and I'm getting more and more nervous with each step that Im thinkin that the dead deer isnt there. But the Cops' asses looked nice in their tight blue pants. Finally, it hits us--the stench of death. It's unbearable. At first just a slight breeze of funk, and then a cloud of unbelievable disgustingness. Oh yeah, we smell that, the cops say. I ask if I can stay behind while they go off in search of 'the body'--which by the way they thought was probably a homeless woman who apparently lives under the walkway or something; when they first picked me up they asked if I saw a shopping cart by the body. I said no. After a few minutes they emerge, one of the cops holding his nose and both looking disgusted. It's a deer, they tell me, and it's pretty decomposed. No shit, I think to myself, but outloud I express my utter relief that it was a deer and not a human. They inform me they're going to have the Dept. of Trans. clean it up and assure me it will be taken care of. I fucking called the 3 times!! AHHHHHH!
Still there...
So Im on my nightly beach and bay run and sure enough, the dead deer is still there!! So I go to my FBs place and I tell him I have half a mind to just call the police and say there's a dead body on the walkway and he says, Yeah you should do that! So i say, OK I will do it daggone it! So I call the cops and I'm like, Hi I think there's a dead body on this walkway, it's been there for a few days and it really fucking stinks. The cops come to his house, which really scared my FB cuz I think he student visa or green car is up but I was ok with it I dont rely like him that much.... I get in the back of their cop car, which was scary and really fucking hot, and smelled like criminals and we drive down to the walkway. We drive by the walkway and I don't see any fucking dead deer!!! AH FUCK! i think. Don't fucking tell me that now that I'm sitting in the back of this cop car someone had finally gotten off their fucking lazy, bureaucratic ass and removed the thing! I got real worried...what could the consequences of this be? How will I explain myself? Can I go to jail for something like this??? Faking seeing a dead body?!?!?
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