WHO: ALEXIS HUGHES
WHEN: RIGHT NOW ONLINE
GUYS DO YOU HAVE A RAGING BONER AND YOU JUST DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT WELL I HAVE THE CURE FOR YOU COME AND SEE ALEXIS HIGHES AND SHE WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU IN ANY AND EVERY WAY YOU WISH
Finally, a solution to my raging boner problem!
I've tried creams, ointments, pastes, gels, jellies, jams, spreads, and cool whip toppings.
I've tried therapy, therapists, therapeutic massages, less reputed massages, and the stranger in the stall next to me at the rest stop who was offering "Free Trucker Grip Massages".
I've tried just living with the thing, decorating my pelvis with throw pillows, hanging ornaments from it and hanging other items from the 'perch'.
I've tried reasoning with it, insulting and belittling it. I've threatened it and promised the world to it if it would just settle down for a minute. No such luck.
Soooo... you're telling me Alexis Hughes is the cure for erections lasting more than 4 days? Because to be honest, I've seen her profile photos, and I'm pretty sure I have a case for a lawsuit, as the originating culprit of this problem to begin with